Tiger Woods apologized in a press conference this morning. It reminds me of that Simpsons episode where Marge tells Bart he has to apologize in front of everyone and mean it. It’s hard to believe that this taking up the majority of the front page over at CNN.com. Personally, I think it would have been best if he just never said anything and just showed up and started golfing again. If asked about it, just say “I don’t talk about my personal life.”
With that being said I’d like to apologize in my own press conference some day. I think it’d be fun. I wanna get famous, get married, cheat on her and then leave the press hanging for about two or three months while I go through “therapy” (or as it’s called around here, beer) and then have a big apology press conference. Then when it’s over go back and say “Oh, one more thing. I never cheated and my wife and I aren’t really married. You’ve just been had!” Then take the ring off my hand and tell the “wife” she should take that back to Wal-Mart and see if you can get my $90 back. I wonder sometimes if I am a bad person.
