Carnival of Madness

Poll: Bullshit Is Most Important Issue For 2008 Voters

So fucking true. I was amazed in 2000 when they made a big deal about Bush’s drunk driving things in 1970 something. To me that’s just crazy. Who cares? I mean, if he had 4 drunk driving convictions in 1998; then there’d be reason to complain. But just one from 25 or so years ago? Not important.

Still, my all time favorite Bush moment has to be: “There’s Adam Clymer: Major League Asshole from the New York Times.” There’s President Bush: Major League Asshole from Texas.

First of all, the Red Sox won the World Series…again. I think Red Sox fans can shut up now. Even they don’t return next year or the next decade to the playoffs, they will have the memory of winning two World Series in four seasons. That’s a hell of an accomplishment. I don’t think they have any right to complain if the Yankees win the division next year and the Red Sox lose out.But that doesn’t seem likely because Mr. A-Rod has left the Yankees for free agency. Like I said earlier, the Pirates should give it a shot to get him for a few seasons. I’m just waiting for the day that the Pirates sign Tory Hunter and A-Rod on the same day. Trade away Bay and Nady for pitching and then have an outfield of Hunter/McCutchen/Pearce. An infield of A-Rod/Wilson/Sanchez/LaRoche. With (ugh) Paulino catching. I just think it’d be funny if that’s what the Huntington has planned all along. On a completely different topic and such: Huntington seems to be taking a long, long time to find a new Field Manager. It seems for the last two weeks, the Post-Gazette has written two articles about how he’s thinking about who to hire and then him saying that it’s time to hire a new manager. Meanwhile, it seems everyone is getting nervous about this guy because it sure seems to be taking a while to get someone to manage…or even start interviewing candidates. Of course it could be that the guy he wants (a Red Sox coach) was coaching in the World Series until today. Of course I’m pulling for the Pirates AAA manager at Indianapolis, Trent Jewett. He knows almost all of the Pirates players and is one of the few Pirates fans left in professional baseball.

In other news, I was sick from about 2:00 Saturday morning until this morning. It was just nasty stuff. Vomiting and diarrhea at the same time. Not to mention a high temperature and head ache to boot; it was not a nice day, yesterday. I got out of doing chores for the most part, but that probably set me back $40. Oh well. The bad part was that mom told me drink some 7-Up to settle the stomach. Which it did, but it made my teeth really, really sore. They still are really sore, I think it’s from the lemon or something in the drink. Maybe citric acid. I usually do better with root beer; seems to be less painful for the teeth. Then I looked up online to see if there was any home remedies and someone suggested Orajel. So I tried that and all it did was numb it up for about an hour or so. If this whole teeth pain thing doesn’t go away, I’m gonna be tempted to go bug the dentist…

That is all, for now, carry on.

I love Fire Joe Morgan.com. It is the awesomest Sports Journalism watchdog blog out there (one of only one that I know of) and here is probably the best example of why it needs to exist. Basically they found this article on the New York Daily News website about how the Yankees need to kick the greatest hitter of our generation (A-Rod) off the team. Among a lot of stupid writing, they found this long winded and idiotic sentence:

The Yankees say that if Rodriguez exercises a contractual right to become a free agent within 10 days after the World Series ends, then they will tell him not to let the clubhouse door at Yankee Stadium hit him in the exact same place where he and the Yankees have ended up in October since he came to town.

To which Fire Joe Morgan asks:

The Yankees have ended up…in ARod’s ass?

I’m just amazed that people who wrote that nonsensical sentence actually get paid to write for the New York Daily News. I don’t. Even though I’ve probably written even more convoluted and nonsensical garbage on here; at least it’s just a personal blog and there’s no editors going through and checking my grammar. It’s basically a brain dump. Brain thinks up something, I write it and dump it on here for everyone to ignore and for me to forget about almost immediately.So yeah, I shouldn’t get paid to write.

Also, if the Yankees are really sick of A-Rod, I think the Pirates should offer up something for him. Maybe trade Jason Bay, Xavier Nady and Jose Bautista and pay for a huge chunk of A-Rod salary in exchance for A-Rod. Don’t worry A-Rod, we Pirates fans would appreciate you. If you choke in the first round of the playoffs, we’ll still have a parade for you and the entire team; if you get the Pirates to the playoffs we’ll probably retire your number before you leave the team…..

Yeah, all in my stupid fantasy world. Back to reality where A-Rod isn’t dumb enough to become a member of the Pirates…

Well, the game’s about half way done and it’s 10-1, Red Sox. Not looking good for the Rockies. Of course, Game 1 usually doesn’t mean the series is over. In 1971, the Pirates were down 2-0 and then proceeded to win four of the final five games of the World Series. In 1979, the Pirates had a terrible 1st inning that cost them five runs and the game, they won game 2, lost two more games and then had a three game win streak to win the series.The important thing is for the Rocks is to get their pitchers to calm down and try to throw complete innings (seems like tonight they’re having a problem with that). For the Red Sox, just keep hitting the ball everywhere and they should win.

But for me, it’s just waiting for now. Waiting for the Pirates to show up in the World Series. I’m gonna be waiting for a while. Well, this game is just so far outta reach for the Rockies. Might go find something else to watch.

Well it’s the Sox and the Rocks in the World Series. At this point, it reminds me of last year. The Tigers won the ALCS 4-0 and the Cardinals took all 7 games to win the NLCS. This year, the NLCS only took 4 games while the ALCS took all 7. So clearly, the Red Sox probably has the upper hand, since the Cardinals won the World Series.If the Red Sox win another World Series, I think we can consider the “Bambino Curse” officially over and done with. Cursed teams don’t win two championships in four years. Cursed teams blow a 2-0 lead in the bottom of the 9th in game 7 of the 1992 NLCS and then have 15 consecutive losing seasons when Barry Bonds leaves without a single offer from that idiot GM Ted Simmons. Opps, did I give away what team I’m talking about?

The big play was a hit made by the Indians with Kenny Lofton on 2B with a chance for the Indians to tie it up. Instead possible future Pirates manager Joel Skinner stopped Lofton at 3B and the chance to tie was gone when the Sox turned a double play to end the inning. After that the Sox scored 8 runs and put the game out of reach for the Indians.

As for Week 7. The less said about the Steelers, the better. Ugh. They were shitty against a shitty team. Only the Mini-Vikes look worse. The Patriots: holy shit. They are fucking amazing. Probably the best team, without a doubt. I can’t imagine the Patriots not getting to the Super Bowl. The NFC will have to offer up a sacrificial lamb to the slaughter the Patriots will inflict upon them. The Rams…suck. I wonder if they’ll win a game this season. Their whole “Greatest Show on Turf” seems so long ago. Hard to believe that it was just four years ago. The Titans kicked 8 Field Goals today, including one in the final seconds. ESPN listed the former record holders of 7, including the Cowboy’s Chris Boniol when he kicked 7 against the Packers in a Monday Night Game to win 21-6. That was a fun game to watch. 11 years ago and I still remember it. Yeah….I remember weird shit.

Yep, I wonder what the Pirates are up to….oh, nothing.

Stupid school. Ok, they warned the teacher not to do that; so he should have listened. But come on, it’s the freaking Simpsons movie. Probably every single 8, 9 and 10 year old could go home that night, turn on the TV and find a Simpsons episode in syndication. Sure, if the teacher showed Fight Club, A Clockwork Orange, Road House or even The South Park movie, there’d be a much better case for firing him.Of course this goes back to when I was in grade school. My elementary school had a rule that the teachers couldn’t show anything except Disney Animated movies. Nothing else. A history teacher couldn’t even show Gone With the Wind or Patton or Glory. No live action movies allowed at all. Meanwhile, at home, I was watching Return of the Jedi, The Empire Strikes Back, Spaceballs, Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, etc. Then we got to Jr. High and there they had a rule that we could be shown anything, within reason. So we couldn’t watch anything like Fight Club, but we probably could have watched Saving Private Ryan (If it existed at the time).

If I had kids in grade school, I’d only be outraged that he showed it if my kids hadn’t seen it yet. I’d wanna watch The Simpsons Movie together as a family. So yeah, chalk one up for a stupid school….

So I was sitting and eating dinner tonight when I got a phone call on the parents regular phone thing. Anyways, it was from a Republican Phone calling thing. So the first question they asked was who I would support. I, of course, answered Ron Paul.The next question was how likely I would vote for him in the caucus thing and I said 9 (on a scale from 1 to 10 with 1 being unlikely and 10 being very fucking likely).

The next question was who’s in second place for me. I said McCain because he seemed to be against torturing prisoners. I dunno, I’d have a hard time actively voting for him. But he seems to be the least disgusting out of the rest of the guys.

The next question was who would I never vote for and I said Guiliani. Of course he’s tied with Romeny and Fred Thompson. But they only asked for one. Rudy was just the first one that popped in to my head.

So yeah, seemed like some rather boring questions. Then came the kicker: The guy said thanks for my time and then stated “This phone call was paid for by Giuliani for President campaign”.

HAHAHA! Big time slam! Boo-ya! Oh, that’s great. I loved it.

Speaking of Boston Legal. Alan Shore’s going after this girl who’s working at the firm and she’s…ok. I mean, I just look at her and think she’s not that hot. Her tits are too small. She has a nice asset though in back. But eh, Shore can do better. Maybe he’s just being eclectic, go for girls with big tits, little tits, medium tits, etc. Maybe he’s not a tit guy. I dunno. I mean, I am and it’d just bug me…a lot.

Ya know the thing I really like about Star Wars Episode III? The fact that they’re starting the Death Star at the end of the movie and it takes 20 years to build the thing. That’s probably the most realistic and honest part of the whole freaking movie. It takes twenty years to build a huge space station that blows up planets. That’s government for ya. I love the complaints from Star Wars fans saying it won’t take 20 years to build the Death Star. Really? How the fuck would you know? When was the last time they built a planet destroying space station?

Real life comparison: How long is it taking to build that Freedom Tower in New York City? The Freedom Tower…A really tall government building paid for with high taxes taken from people by force. Well, really tall in the sense that when they finish on 9/11/21 it’ll be really tall. And if we’re all lucky it won’t collapse and kill 3000 people. I guess that’s government brand freedom. Hopefully, the Freedom Tower won’t be used to blow up countries the president doesn’t like.

Gonna post this now because the weather has been a real bitch tonight…

The Colorado Rockies are going to the World Series.WTF? One month ago today, they were 76-72, in fourth place behind the Diamondbacks, Padres and Dodgers. Since then they’ve gone 21-1. 21 wins and one loss (going 14-1 to finish the season). They’re just unreal. Even the New England Patriots haven’t had a stretch like that. I don’t even think the Bulls in the Jordan/Pippen/Rodman era even pulled off anything like that.

On May 21st, they were 18-27, with the 2nd worst record in the NL. The Pirates were 19-24. Of course after that date, the Pirates and Rockies went in vastly different directions. The Rockies after that date had the best record in the NL going 72-46. The Pirates had the worst record in the NL at 49-70. I’ve heard so much that the Pirates are eliminated by late May. Not really; they just seem to give up on themselves and give in to the culture of failure that festers within the Pirates.

So next up is finding out who will represent the AL and can this American League team stand up to the unstoppable express passenger train of death that is the 07 Colorado Rockies. And to think if the stodgy purist had their way, the Rockies wouldn’t have even been to the playoffs this season. The Indians are up 2-1 against the Red Sox. I kinda want the Sox to go that way the Indians won’t lose another World Series to another expansion team…

Ok, I have to admit being a fan of Dave Ramsey, but man, I bet Dave didn’t think of this! HAHAHAHA. Brilliant!Man, why did I work for the last five years? I should have just run for an office and cash in! And with all these new campaign finance laws it because easy as pie to run as a candidate in a sure loser (like a Democrat running in Alabama or a Republican running in San Francisco) they get matching funds from the government and not really campaign too much, pocket the money and pay off their personal bills and debts. It’s really unbelievable. And the best part is that we stupid tax payers have to pay for it all…oh wait, that really sucks.

Reading that article again (two entries before this one) about how it’s better to have a credit card than debit card. The one thing I love is this notion that you can lose up to $500. I’ve read my card agreements and they state that if someone gets my pin number, I could lose up to $500 if I don’t report fraud within two days. Point of Sale purchases appear instantly on my online account. So if I’m checking my account twice a day, there’s no possibility of me losing $500. If I find fraudulent charger within two days I’m only liable for $50. If the person is not entering my pin number and is just buying gas at the pump and other places that don’t need pin then I’m not liable for any of it, even it takes me a week or so to find it.So yeah, I hope that I won’t have to test this whole thing out. But I feel very safe using a debit card and I feel more financially secure using debit rather than a credit card. I have never had fraud problems with my debit/check cards. Since I switched to the credit union, I’ve become frightened by the fact that US Bank never checked out a lot of the charges made on my debit or credit cards. They didn’t seem to care much at all…